Should Be Sleeping

But I'm not. My body says that it's not time for sleeping, so I'll ramble about my kinks instead.

So, as I said in my Getting To Know Me post, I'm into the BDSM stuffies. I have a Master who doubles as my boyfriend, and I am his slave/girlfriend. I'm a masochist as well as a submissive, and no the two are not synonymous. Not all submissives are masochistic and not all masochists are submissive. Some folks just like to be on the bottom and some folks just like receiving pain. So, I might refer to myself as a slave, pet, painslut, bottom, puppy, bitch, etc. Sometimes it'll be self-demeaning (especially the bitch one), but most of the time it will be with pride that I call myself these things. And no, Kitty isn't pulling strings on this puppet to make me say these things. If anything, he would prefer I keep quiet about our personal activities and lifestyle. But I'm not really about silence. I'm proud of what I am and what we do. Tough titty on him and the folks who don't like it.

So, now that you have a bit of my take, want some definitions in your brains? Alrighty then.
BDSM - Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadism/Masochism
Sadomasochism
Submission (And the other tops above)
FetLife - A self-proclaimed "kinky facebook", good for discussions, advice, dating, and friendship

If you don't click the links, fine, but please refrain from e-mails or comments about how this is abuse, I should be ashamed, or how this is dangerous. The difference from BDSM to abuse is that this is all consented between two reasonable adults. We know some of the risk involved, but the point is to take precautions: safe words, plan B's, quick getaways, etc. This ain't know slap and tickle game where we're two kids who are doing bad things because it's bad. We do them because we like it. Deal.

Now that you have a couple good sources, time for me to describe what I like.

So, I consider myself a slave and a masochist. I enjoy full submission, but I also enjoy pain. Master will say I don't enjoy submission, considering how hard headed I am, but I truly do. However, I like to be forced into my place. I want a flog at my rump every time I refuse to do dishes. I want to be reminded of where I am, who I am, and what I am. Quite often. I'm a bit of a hassle, you can say. I also enjoy different types of pain. Some pains my Master is not willing to have me endure because he is afraid of hurting me. I'm hoping to somehow persuade him that it's not as bad as he thinks and that I want it. Some things he is okay with: spanking, biting, scratching, flogging, choking, hair pulling. Some things I want that he is not okay with: bloodletting, branding (yes, the cowpoke kind), knifeplay, leaving a permanent/semi-permanent mark on me. He also doesn't want to micromanage my life because he feels like it's too controlling. How do you suppose I try and explain to him that that is exactly what I want? I need someone to give me a firm schedule and be there to correct me when I get it wrong. I want him to tell me when to go to bed and if I'm not in bed, I want him to whip my ass until it's in bed. I've told him these things before; divulged these internal secrets to him. So how do I go about convincing him that this is really what I need?

One of my primary fantasies is to be his complete slave. Sure, I call myself one now, but I don't feel very slave-y. I run my own life, for the most part. He tells me to do some things, but he doesn't often enforce. My ideal situation would be to have a cage (like a large dog kennel, or vertical-barred cage, with a fur-lined floor). A few of them scattered throughout the house: one beneath his desk, one at the foot of the bed, one in the living room, and various other places. So that I have a place to be close by, so that when he needs me, I'm right there. The cage in the bedroom is either for playtime or punishment. Depends on what he sends me in there for. I wouldn't often wear clothes in the house. Either naked or with some of Master's favorite undies. I have a strict schedule and if something happens where I don't get things done, I'm properly dealt with, either with punishment or reservation of rewards until the tasks are done. I have various brands or bloody scratches or tattoos that show the world that I am his and only his. As well as bruises from various play times and fantasies we've lived out.

Of course, unfortunately this is all just dreams and wishes and hopes all balled up and coated with pixie dust.

Any questions? Don't be afraid to ask~